To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.
We ended up with these questions: The Bible commands Christians to marry “in the Lord,” that is, to marry other Christians (1 Corinthians ; 2 Corinthians ).
I think what you are looking for is seriousness about growth in the person’s faith.
In some relationships, I found myself compromising some of my values to be more in line with that guy’s.
In other relationships, I began to think that some of the things I had wanted in a husband were perhaps more wishful thinking than things that could actually be.
The question they had for Jesus was, "Could one divorce for any and every reason?
" This seems to be the same attitude we see in our own day.
Because what I have tragically found is that Christian singles hit an area of desperation, particularly young women, and they will go: “Yeah, he is a Christian, he comes to church.” And really what they’re saying is this guy comes to church a couple of times a month, but outside of attending a service, he doesn’t have a real seriousness about growing in his understanding of the Lord, growing in his understanding of the Bible, being a prayerful person, no vivication or mortification that can be spotted, and no one who really knows them enough to speak to the growth in their character.