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PITTSBURGH—Red wine and candlelight on the table before them, Deep Blue, the supercomputer that defeated reigning world chess champion Garry Kasparov in 1997, and Kasparov’s ex-wife, Yulia Vovk, quietly celebrated their 10th anniversary on Wednesday at a small French restaurant near Carnegie Mellon University, where Deep Blue was created.

HOMESTEAD, FL—Acting on a tip from a local fisherman who caught the former vice president siphoning gas from his outboard motor, DNC Chairman Tom Perez on Monday reportedly tracked down Joe Biden deep in the Florida Everglades tossing whole raw chickens to alligators.

THE HEAVENS—Upon discovering His shining celestial throne had again begun to wobble beneath Him, God the Father, Creator of Heaven and Earth, reportedly attempted to level it out Tuesday by shoving another cherub under one of its legs.

BEAVERTON, OR—Touting the undergarment as an essential item for women on the go, Nike released a new sports bra Monday designed for wearing directly under a coat while shambling around the grocery store, sources reported.

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We value our team, they are the ones that keep the company moving forward, therefore Hydraquip invest in ways on improving employee engagement, understanding each individual has different motivations for working, setting a good forward thinking working culture, and showing praise and appreciation for good work.’ Mac Bain added ‘Showing employees trust by giving them responsibility and room to develop adds volumes to their self esteem, resulting in a better performance.’ Hydraquip are proud to showcase a selection of the Group’s team, to give customers, suppliers and friends an insight to the staff that have helped the hose and hydraulic firm reach the heights it has achieved today.

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VANCOUVER—Announcing its publication in response to overwhelming demand, the editors of the ‘Guinness World Records’ on Wednesday released an abridged book of freaks for readers who just want the good stuff.

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